Twos and Threes – Part 4 – Refreshing the Soul

Paul was a true soul friend. See the way young men like Silas, Timothy, Titus, Clement, and others gravitated to him, to learn from him and serve alongside him in his ministry. These men were devoted to Paul because they knew Paul was devoted to the Lord and that he loved them deeply.

Paul summarized his idea of a soul friend in 2 Corinthians 12.15, where he wrote, “And I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved.” Let’s make three observations here.

First, Paul’s love for and commitment to the souls of the believers in Corinth did not depend on their reciprocating that love. Which was a good thing for the Corinthians, because no sooner had Paul moved on from there, after nearly two years of ministry, than they began veering off the Jesus Path to follow false teachers into a variety of personality camps and false gospels. Yet Paul persevered in seeking their wellbeing, writing two epistles and sending a trusted associate to help them find their way back to the Lord.

Second, note that Paul saw his relationship with the Corinthians as an investment. He would “spend and be spent” for the wellbeing and enrichment of their souls. He would give of himself as much as he could and do whatever was necessary for them to get back on the Jesus Path of growth and fruitfulness in the Lord.

Finally, Paul said he would do this very gladly. The Corinthians had repudiated his teaching, rejected his moral example, and were boasting and competing with one another as they gathered around self-interested teachers. It was painful for Paul to hear this and even more painful for him to confront them in 1 Corinthians. But he did so gladly, looking to the Lord and finding his joy in obeying Him and fulfilling his calling.

That’s what soul friends do. In our previous installment we wrote, “This is what true friends do. They refresh one another in their souls, brightening their minds, bringing holy delight to their hearts, and firming up their consciences for the daily walk with the Lord.”

We want to be soul friends. We need to have soul friends in twos and threes, in various contexts and facets of our lives and ministry, and in all our trials and joys, setbacks and victories, hardships and flourishing.

But it will be difficult for us to be a friend to another’s soul, or to have someone as a friend to ours, unless we understand what the soul is and how it functions.

Every believer knows that the soul is a spiritual essence that exists within us, uniquely created by God to serve us according to His will. But that’s about all we know. We don’t really know what the soul consists of, how it functions, what its aims are, or how to care for it. And without a better understanding of all these matters, it’s going to be difficult to be or have soul friends.

Let me make a few brief comments about the nature of the soul.

Let’s begin by saying that, in our fallen condition, apart from faith in Jesus, our soul is a wreck. It’s in need of a total overhaul and rebuilding, and this work begins when the Spirit of God enters our heart as we confess true and saving faith in Jesus Christ (Gal. 4.3-7). Immediately, the Spirit begins to work on the three components of the soul—mind, heart, and conscience.

He gives us the mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2.16), so that we may learn to think God’s thoughts after him, to observe, analyze, compare, assess, understand, and plan as Jesus would in every aspect of our lives (Ps. 90.12, 16, 17).

The Spirit also brings with Him a heart of love, based solidly on the Law of God (Ezek. 36.26, 27; cf. Matt. 22.34-40). The heart is the seat of our affections—our desires, longings, aspirations, hopes, fears, loves, and so forth. The Spirit works to enlarge the new heart in us (Ps. 119.32) and to suppress what yet lingers of the heart of flesh and its wrong desires.

The mind and heart interact in the soul, at times exchanging functions and working toward new thoughts and feelings. But the heart and mind need a referee, a keeper of the rules, so to speak, a component that holds the default values and priorities of the soul. And this is the role of the conscience.

When mind, heart, and conscience—each of these spiritual components of the soul—are in tune with the Spirit of God and in submission to the Word of God, growth in Christlikeness can occur (2 Cor. 3.12-18). And the goal of soul friendships is to encourage and assist this process. Thus, soul friends will want to learn as much about the soul of their anam cara and give of their own soul to encourage mutual growth and edification.

Soul friends need to be joined at the soul, and this comes from spending time together, sharing in one another’s journey in the Lord, talking about goals and aspirations as citizens and ambassadors of God’s Kingdom, holding one another accountable for progress in the faith, and growing together through prayer, study, conversation, collaboration, and worship.

No wonder we all need soul friends. Today, ask yourself: Whose soul friend am I? How can I improve in spending and being spent for the soul of my friend? What do I need my soul friend to do for me today?