Twos and Threes – Part 3 – Soul Friends
The churches in Corinth had fallen into a crisis: Schism, abuse of worship and the Lord’s Supper, winking at sin, neglecting their callings and gifts, and, worst of all, failing at the basics of love. No sooner had Paul left, after nearly two years of ministry, than false teachers arrived, comparisons and competition broke out, division settled into the churches, and nothing was the way it was supposed to be.
The Corinthians needed a friend. Or, rather, a team of friends. They were struggling in their faith and unable to deliver themselves from the morass of sin and immaturity that had overtaken them.
Happily, they knew Paul was their friend. And probably Titus and two or three others as well. They sent a delegation to Paul in Ephesus to seek his counsel. Paul, being their true friend, minced no words. The Corinthians were babes in Christ. Not a mature believer among them. Their attitude toward scandalous sin was worse than that of the pagans. Paul reviewed the teaching he had given while among them and called them to get busy getting back on the right path with Jesus.
His first letter to them was hard and uncompromising. But the Corinthians, knowing that Paul was their true friend, endured the chastisement and set about immediately to redress the ills that were plaguing them. For they knew, as Paul would write to them in 2 Corinthians 12.15, that he would gladly give all that he had and invest all his strength to show himself a friend to their souls.
This is where true friendships are forged, at the deepest spiritual level of our lives, in our souls. A true friend is what ancient Celtic Christians referred to as a soul friend, anam cara. The old saying is variously attributed to Comgall and Brigid, 6th century Irish saints, that a man without a soul friend is like a man without a head.
Celtic Christians modeled soul friendship faithfully, joining as friends of twos and threes and more to care for one another’s souls and thus to advance the rule of King Jesus in and through each other. Patrick and Sechnall, Columbanus and Gall, Colum Cille and Colman—true soul friends whose efforts, together with thousands of other similar soul friends, “saved civilization”, in the words of Thomas Cahill.
Even Paul needed such friends. He rejoiced in the good word Titus brought back from Corinth, telling how the people had repented and returned to growing in Jesus. Titus refreshed Paul’s soul—mind, heart, and conscience—by his sacrificial example and hopeful word. So also, Philemon had refreshed Paul’s soul and the souls of many others, and Paul thanked and commended him for it.
This is what true friends do. They refresh one another in their souls, brightening their minds, bringing holy delight to their hearts, and firming up their consciences for the daily walk with the Lord. The more true friends—soul friends—we have, the greater is the likelihood we will continue in the path with Jesus and be spreaders of God’s grace to the people in our lives.
The writer of the book of Hebrews insisted that all Christians should strive to be soul friends with other believers. He wrote in Hebrews 3.12-14: “Beware, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God; but exhort one another daily, while it is called ‘Today,’ lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.” And again, in Hebrews 10.24, “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works…”
We need encouragement and exhortation from others to keep our hearts focused on and trusting in God and His Word. It's too easy to drift from the Lord into compromise, first at some small, seemingly insignificant point, but then increasingly from there, as we descend the slippery slope of sin. Others need our encouragement and exhortations as much as we need theirs. Where this is lacking, the tendency to fall into disobedience and complacency will increase.
Finding soul friends should be high on our list of priorities. Soul friends pray for us. They have a good understanding of the state of our soul and of what we are doing to grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus. They love us enough to hang with us through setbacks; they rejoice with us in every spiritual victory; confront and caution us as needed; and share with us in the work of the Lord.
Soul friends worship together, pray together, study, grow, and work together. The goal of their friendship is the same, to know Jesus Christ, and Him crucified, exalted, reigning in glory, and coming again soon. True friends of your soul, like the apostle Paul, will gladly spend and be spent to whatever extent will help you realize more of the transforming grace of Jesus Christ. A man who has soul friends of twos and threes will never want for stimulus to seek the Lord and abide in Him.
If we want soul friends, we must be a soul friend ourselves. We must love others as we want them to love us, and this means devoting ourselves to the hard but immensely rewarding work of getting to know others and letting them get to know us.
Who are your soul friends? How well do you know them in the depths of their being, in their souls? Spend some time today in prayer, asking the Lord, first, to give you the soul of a soul friend and second, to lead you to two or three companions for your journey in the Lord who will spend and be spent for your soul as well.